Sunday, November 16, 2008

Movie review, mother of tears


On saturday I went to Tim's for a movie night with abby ed and charlotte. It was one of the worst movies i've ever seen. It was called like mother of tears, and here is an outline (I missed hte first half hour, so the beggining is what other people told me)

Ok, so theres this woman. For some reason she throws her baby off a bridge, but then she feels bad. Then a crazy monkey comes back and it's like AHHHHHHH!!! In a high pitched monkey way.

Then like some crazy goth girls with make up were like "ELJAFLJ WE'RE CRAZY!!!" And they were like followers of the mother of tears or whatever.

Then somehow the main character turned invisible?

Then this one asian goth girl kept following her, so finally the maine character smashed her head with a door. It was very gory.

Then there was lots of blood and nudity, the monkey came back and screamed some more.

The main girl was awful at acting, by the way. She was like "what... my parents we're murdered... what..."

Then some random people came and killed some more people.

There was one scene where it was like a red light, and there were like 3 topless women and then 2 of them cut open one and started eating her organs, quality flim right there.

So apparently the main girl had some special power to defeat the mother of tears?

Oh, i forget, at some point there was a crazy old guy who was like I'm gonna help you!

And there was a shower scene. It wasn't at all related to the plot, but there was a scene where the main character was in a shower. Then she got out of the shower, and the plot continued.

Then she went down into like a tomb and found the mother of tears, and she was like I'm crazy! There were more topless women.

So then she like ran up to the mother of tears, and the mother was like "NOBODY CAN STOP ME KNOW!!!!"

Then the monkey came and screamed more.

And the woman like grabbed a spear, and ripped off the mother of tears's shirt and threw it into the fire and she was like NOOOOOOOOO

Apparently, the special power that the main character had was she was the only one who could rip of the mother of tears's shirt, and throw it in a fire.

Then the main character like stubled through some unidentifyable brown liquid and some guy who had never been in the movie before showed up and helped her through. Then they like climbed out and they were in the middle of the city and it was like "..." and then they started laughing and the movie ended.

GREAT MOVIE RIGHT THERE!!!! I think the director was like "oh, crap, this movie makes no sense. Lets just make everyone topless and add lots of blood!

The whole time everyone was like "WHY DID YOU PICK THIS TIM?" And he was like "THE PREVIEW MADE IT LOOK GOOD!!!"

Seriously, worst movie ever. I laughed so much during it.

Of course it did supply one of the funniest things Tim has ever said. During one topless scene as we were all discussing how bad this movie is, Tim said something like "I feel like this movie would be really good if I was alone, if you know what I mean"

Oh, we know what you mean tim. We know what you mean.

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